Letters to a Young Sister by Hill Harper

Author:Hill Harper
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group (USA), Inc.

LETTER 13

Words Have Power: The B, H, and T Words

I used to want the words “She tried” on my tombstone. Now I want “She did it.”

Katherine Mary Dunham

September 25, 2007

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Dear Young Sistah,

Hey there, I’m down in Louisiana now, on location shooting the movie Mama, I Want to Sing! with Ciara. It’s an amazing project for her. I wish you two could meet; you’d get along great and probably be friends for life. Just like you and your girls, she hangs out with her friends, goes to the mall, goes out dancing and checking out the latest flicks. Sometimes we’ll get to talking, and I can’t help being struck by the dignified way she carries herself for someone so young. She reminds me of you in that way. She’s also one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Believe me, I’ve worked with people with a lot less talent than Ciara who walk around the set without an ounce of humility. They demand things, and then have tantrums that hold the entire cast and crew hostage until they get their way. Ciara is the star of this movie and her character is in almost every scene of the film and never once has she treated anyone as if she were above them or doing them a favor. And I’ll tell you this; she is not the kind of girl a brother would come at using disparaging words like bitch and ho. Trust me when I say they would know better.

Thinking of that reminded me of a letter you wrote a while back where you said that you and your friends sometimes use the words bitch and ho when referring to one another. You told me that every time you hear those words, an unsettling feeling comes into your stomach. Much more than an unsettling feeling came into my stomach when I read that. Words have power, but they also have meaning. Meaning is the very thing that creates a word, isn’t it? Without meaning, words are nothing more than a collection of sounds grouped together. And the words that we choose to call each other have extra meaning. These words affect our image of self, our psyche, and the way we relate to each other. I find it disturbing enough when the word ho is thrown around casually by some young men, because it’s such an offensive and abusive way to label a person. But it’s even more disturbing to me that more and more girls and women are using that word to refer to other females, and to themselves.

Some musicians have definitely encouraged the casual and widespread use of words like bitch and ho, as well as the objectification of women. As much as I love rap, and respect many of its makers, that aspect of it is one that we can’t ignore. When you answer to words like bitch and ho, or words that are even worse, you are granting those words power.

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